lou · recovery
Drafts cause-matched recovery emails when Stripe payments fail.
The crew that runs your back office.
Eight named AI coworkers, one job each. They turn on with one toggle, run inside guardrails you set, and leave an audit trail you can read.
cleo · renewals
Watches usage; preps renewal touchpoints; flags expansion signals.
maggie · onboarding
Nudges trial users on day 1, day 7, and day 14 toward activation.
frankie · inbox
Triages inbound mail, drafts replies, escalates real customers.
bug · issues
Turns customer support emails into filed Issues with repro steps.
hank · watcher
Names what's slipping — silent customers, dropping usage — before churn.
inky · scribe
Drafts the changelog. Publishes to your-name.porchops.com daily.
dale · briefer
Sends the Monday business brief and the daily ship-log digest.
The crew grows. Slowly.
We're thinking about a compliance officer (drafts SOC 2 evidence, files customer DPAs) and an incident commander (triggers status-page updates, drafts post-mortems). Both Ops you'd hire if you could spare the headcount; both jobs solo founders rarely get to.
We'll name them the way we named these eight — by the job — and Inky will announce them in the changelog when they ship. No sooner.